SSBB Humor
by Nesspwns
Summary: A hilarious story that i decided to make. Rated M for lanquage and for futer chapters
1. Chapter 1

This story here takes place in the Smash Mansion. It is based around a tournament. There will be joy, anger, sadness, regret, and grief but most of all

….

….

Humor! Aha, got you guys there. Any way lets start

It was noon sun setting over a lake with beautiful oranges and reds in the sky it was reflecting of the water by it was a giant Mansion. It had average sized dorms and rooms a dinning hall a kitchen (of course). There was a training room were all the smashers participated in practice back out side. The Mansion and the Lake were in the middle of a giant plain this perfect scene was disrupted…

"TOON LINK GET YOUR FUCKIN' ASS BACK HERE!"

"Never!"

Toon link was running. His stubby legs were carrying him well. He looked behind them and there was the monster. She was at least 6ft tall slim and blond hair. If you hadn't guessed yet you need to get your head checked the monster behind him was Samus.

She was pissed. He had stolen her helmet. If she caught him it would be the end of his life. She was in her armor of course or he could've caught him.

If you want to know how he got into this… Don't ask it's not pretty.

Any way he was running out of breath they had run around the Mansion 10 times,

And Toony was worn out he had to keep pressing on or die. She shot a missile at him witch he barley dodged.

Up above some boy was watching from the window. He had a red and blue cap over messy black hair, It was Ness. He was laughing. Toony way in serious troubled. Ness decided to be evil and yelled "PK Paralysis". Toon Link froze and fell on the ground.

Samus saw him suddenly fall and not move except the occasional twich.

She heard Ness yelling, "The Paralysis should ware off soon but there you go."

Samus smiled and yelled "thanks, kid" Ness snorted at that remark. He was almost 19.

He wasn't a kid. "IM NOT A KID!" He screamed annoyed. Samus smirked. "Alright…"

She walked a few steps "Kid"

Ness was pissed now. He jumped out of his window. "PK Paralysis" Samus froze unable to move. "Fuck" she muttered underneath her breath. Ness walked up to her. "Say _Ness you aren't a kid, your are turning 16in a week._ **(Ness is a older and taller than he is in brawl.)**

She reluctantly said the line. _I can't believe he's 16 im only 5years older than him._

"Now" Ness said "Time to be evil."

Samus's eyes went wide.

"No you wouldn't"

"Yes, I would"

Ness called " Oh Captain Falcon, Snake I got a present for you."

Captain Falcon ran down while Snake walked. "Hello, What be this ,mate?"

Snake said with an Australian accent.

"This Ness said is revenge."

"…."

"…."

"She wont move to kill us?" Snake said

"Nope!" Ness said proudly.

"…"

Snake looked at Falcon.

"Yes!" they both yelled

Oh noes Samus! Oh well she'll get over it.

Don't forget to review.


	2. Chapter 2

Chap two

Samus couldn't believe what was going on. "Ness, old buddy, old pal. You wouldn't leave me to these dogs would you?" Ness stopped and thought about it for a minute. "Yes, I would." He turned tail and ran. Leaving Snake and CF too do what ever they want with her. He came up to Toony's body, the little hylian still gripped Samus' helmet.

The little man picked him up and started back towards the mansion. " Thanks man I thought you were going to let her get me", Toony grunted. He didn't have to run any more, he was happy. "Well I was going to let her have you but I decided against it once she called me a kid I am obviously not a kid." Toony didn't say anything because he thought they were the same age.

Ness carried Toony up to the masion. They went in passed the dinning hall. Were Kirby, Yoshi, and Wario were having a garlic eating contest. At first bite of Garlic, as you know, Wario turns in to Super Wario. Ness grimaced. "Fuck, it is going to suck who ever has to clean it up." Toony who was getting feeling better nodded.

Even though it seems Ness did not seem to like Samus, he did. He never told her or anybody but he kind of thought of her as a mother a little bit. She was going to have his head on a spike though, Ness chuckled in spite of himself.

With Samus

She got feeling back when the two other guys were deciding what to do with her. "Lets have an Eifle Tower with her." CF suggested. "No, lets have a reverse Hammock." "Eifle Tower." CF said. "No" Snake said "Hammock." "Tower" "Hammock." "Tower." "Tower." "Hammock." "Ok we are having a Hammock." Snake said Triumphantly. "Yes, wait, No!"

While the idiot racer and the perverted spy were fighting Samus got up and pulled out her gun/whip "Oh, boys" she said They turned around and were shot in the face by the paralysis beam. They twitched and fell to the ground

"Now to find my favorite PSI user." Which was true, She had always thought of Ness as a son. Now as his "mother" she had the right punish his sorry ass for leaving her to the dogs.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ness came to the dorm Fox, Toony and Sonic shared, he stopped in front of the door. He was about to knock when Fox opened the door, grabbed Toony and said, "Same time next week?" Ness smiled and said, with the usual bob of the head, "Okay!"

He was turning the corner when he heard a voice saying "Oh, Nesssss." He turned seeing a swirling red face. "Sweet Jesus. Giygas!" Ness ran for the hills like his ass was on fire. He jumped into he dorm that he shared with Samus, Peach and Zelda (**Ain't he lucky!)** He jumped out from under his bead and brought out the Gutsy Bat, the rabbits foot, the goddess band and the souvenir coin. His Guts now dramatically increased by the bat. He headed out to find Giygas.

Meanwhile in the hall Samus was laughing her ass off in her Giygas costume. She knew the boy would go straight to their room for his Gutsy Bat. He only used the cracked bat in brawls. She had tied up Toon link when he came out of his room to get water se dressed him up in the costume and waited for Ness.

Ness decided he would use the vastly over powered PK Rockin' Omega. He came around the corner and saw Giygas. He shouted "PK Rockin'" with out hesitation. A guitar materialized in his hand and he started to play _Through the Fire and the Flames _by DragonForce

After getting his ass kick soundly for seven minutes straight. Toon link was unconscious in the middle of the forest a good twenty miles from the smash masion.

Samus laughed so hard she saw Ness stick up his head and yell "Bitch, you aint Giygas." After that Samus fell out of her hiding place, again laghing her ass off.

Lucas was watching the scene from down the hall, he cracked a smile and laughed a bit as Ness started to cuss Samus out. After that She started to beat his ass over her knee Dedede walked by and said "Danm, that's the funniest shit ever there." Lucas nodded and both of them fell to the ground laughing.

Gannondorf walked by saw Samus beating Ness' ass, Lucas and Dedede on the floor. Her cracked a smile put two thumbs up. "I approve this message!"

Then Link came and proceeded to beat the shit out Gannondorf for breaking the fourth wall.


	4. Chapter 4

Samus carried the pissed off Ness back to their room. Sat him down on her bead and said, while sticking her hand out "Truce?" Ness nodded his head. He started to put away all of his equipment back into his box under his bead. Samus peeked in and saw a picture of Ness, two guys, one a nerdy one and the other looking Asian. There was a girl in the picture too. A Blonde with two ribbons in her hair, she was kissing Ness on the cheek and Ness was blushing Redder than a Maximum Tomato.

Ness placed the box under his bead oblivious of the bounty huntress watching him. He turned around and grinned. "What do you want to do now?" She grinned. "Why don't you show me PK Rockin' on some more people?" Ness returned the grin who do you have in mind?"

Mario was spending some time by the fountain in front of the training hall. He held a package delicately in his hands. He looked left then right. He opened the box. Then quickly shut It again. Looked around again then opened the box to reveal raviolis. His eyes shined then he began to eat like there was going to be a famine. He heard a cry of 'PK Rockin Gamma'. He started to go flying he saw his precious box fly just out of reach, then, he hit a brick wall with a thud.

Sonic stared in awe at Mario. The Italian was slumped up against a wall, raviolis all over him. Sonic pulled out a camera and took a few pictures, and ran off laughing.


End file.
